Co-ed Everything? I Don't Think So.

I will be the first to admit I am a traditionalist in most areas of my life and wedding. I cut loose and had a couples shower, which is something I never thought I would do. Having men involved in a wedding shower is more appropriate because there is alcohol and tools and all kinds of different gifts that would be interesting for men to see. What I do not understand is men at baby showers? Say what you will, argue all you want but MOST men do not care about breast pumps and crib bedding. I went to a baby shower a few years ago and it was co-ed more in a sense of grandpas and uncles were there, not so much young dude friends. It worked pretty well besides the fact that there were just too many people there.

Where I absolutely draw the line is, co-ed bachelor and bachelorette parties. I know I am ruffling some feathers here, but hear me out. The whole purpose of a bachelor/ette party is so go "sow your wild oats" so to speak. If nothing else then to just get away and enjoy being just you and your friends before you get married. So when did this happen, that it was okay to party together when the whole point is to be separate? Are these people so attached to their spouse that they can't be apart for a night? What does that say for the rest of their lives? They have the whole wedding weekend to be all together with your friends and wedding party. Plus isn't going out with your man and your friends something you all do throughout the year? On another point--what does it say about the trust in the relationship? If neither person is comfortable being away with their friends for one night then why are you getting married? Am I way off base here? Did you have a co-ed bachelor/ette night and it had nothing to do with anything I listed above?

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It makes me sad to think about women missing out on a night of having girl talk and giggles. Having real talk about the wedding that you can't say or don't want to talk about around your groom to be and his friends. Wearing fun T-shirts and maybe a fun veil. Whether you are going out dancing, to a strip club, to dinner, or having a fun paint each others nails girls night in. You owe it yourself for a little girl time. Your fiance also needs to cut loose with the boys, he deserves a night with no wedding talk what so ever!

Relationships and marriage are not about seclusion. We can not thrive in a bubble, that isn't healthy and it is not real life. We need that time with our friends, talking and laughing, it's good for the soul. Just plain having interests outside of our spouse, things we do without them; that has nothing to do with them. Keeping a sense of identity which can be difficult when you are merging as one, but is essential to being healthy happy people.